‘Tis the Season to Be Jolly!! Christmas, Cancer & Chemo
Breast cancer might be the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through but for those around you, the wheels of life keep spinning and the traditions that have always been going, keep going.
So, what happens if you’re not feeling jolly at all?
In the past, Christmas carols, mince pies, present wrapping and festive cheers with friends made you feel all warm and fuzzy but this year, breast cancer treatment has robbed you of every ounce of energy that ever existed in your body.
It is so tough and the feeling that you are letting people down can make you feel even more hopeless, lonely and sad.
The year I was having chemotherapy, my last four cycles started at the end of November. I felt broken but encouraged by the end which was now in sight.
November 2022
Four rounds of EC chemo complete and four rounds of Paclitaxel to go.
What I wasn’t so encouraged by was Christmas and how I would cope with it all. Already, I was affected by guilt (unnecessary guilt, but natural mum guilt) of how I felt I had let my children down by not being the mummy I was before cancer came along.
How could I possibly manage to buy presents and get our home ready for Christmas when I couldn’t even shower without taking a long nap after?!?!
The overwhelm of it all hit hard and I remember feeling acutely out of control, wondering if my life would ever resemble what it was like before my diagnosis. And of course, once you allow those thoughts to spiral and take over, it can be difficult to take control.
So, let’s break it down.
Instead of letting Christmas break me (a bit ironic as chemo had done a good job already!) I started reframing things. I remember asking myself questions like:
Who is actually having these expectations of me? What would I say to a friend who was battling with these thoughts and how could I somehow bring everything down to a level where Christmas, despite not being ‘normal’, could still be joyful?
It starts with a dialogue.
Personally, I am good at telling people how I feel but I know that’s not the case for everyone. It can be difficult to open up and feel like a nuisance when you are usually a coper. But those around you are not mind readers and need support, too, in knowing how to help you.
If you are starting to feel the Christmas overwhelm, try adding these simple strategies to your toolbox...
Tell your partner or your family: I am feeling a bit concerned about Christmas and my energy levels. Could we have a chat about it?
Can we plan for what Christmas looks like this year because I won’t be able to cope with impromptu visits.
Could we go out for Christmas lunch instead?
I am worried about my fatigue. Can we agree a time with family so I can still have a nap?
If you are being open with your relatives, everyone knows what to expect and don’t forget...
If you have children, they are more resilient than you think. They will adapt and enjoy a slightly different Christmas.
Christmas comes around once a year! This is just one of them so don’t beat yourself up.
Those around you want to help!
Your recovery and well-being are more important than anything.
As December approaches, regardless of the stage you are at, I hope you find lots of pockets of joy and continue to look towards the light. You WILL shine again.
Until next time,
Anja x